tiCk tOck....TicK tOcK...

i cant rly blame him for not being here.. i mean, ive once left him for months juz bcuz of work..
but he said we'll be spending the weekends..(i mean juz online) but its a big deal to me..
i was waiting for him more than 12 hours~
i mean.. i was waiting like well..always...
i kept telling myself not to bother.. i mean he have his own life to deal with right?
my evil heart then says "then u dun hv a life since u waited?"
his own life....i thought... no..i wish, i am a part of his life~

its not his fault.. he doesnt know tht im sad.. ive never say it..ive never tell him whenever im pissed or anything.. i dun wanna hurt him..
or.. most probably.. im juz...scared... he always..yknow.. (ofc u dunno)
smtimes he gets me wrong... maybe its true like he said, smtimes he feels its too impossible for us to understand each other..
yeah it is! ive been trying so hard... i used to get mad all the time bfore we break up..when we get back together, i tried to be more.. yknow, understanding, tolerate.. but he's still got mad at my attitude.. he said i was somekinda shooing him..ahhaha... i juz, wants the best for him... but he takes it all wrong...

its rly hard for me to let go of the past.. i used to trust him soo much... but then...
he said he hates me....
he said he thinks i wasnt a living a creature...
tht made me crying for 4 days, while waiting for him to talk to me...
i mean even right now, i am still crying.. cuz... i dun rly know what he's thinking.. his feelings nymore.. it got me scared..
i told myself, maybe he rly doesnt want u anymore.. ur a pain in the ass...

"its in the past" he would say.. but sorry, i cant forget a thing tht i went through with u..

but i dun rly care! it hurts me or not.. it means a lot to me..
without pain, it would be so dull..
without it, i wont learn a thing.. i wouldnt even be better..
we had to go through pains to get our happiness ne?
plus.. those pains will be the memories tht are actly the memory tht i will most treasure..
cuz i went through it with u.. not with smone else..
which will make it impossible for me to erase u from my mind..

i can bare crying all night through out some fight.. but i cant bare losing u...for another time..
trust me ive felt how it was when i dun hv u in my life to care bout me..-.-
didnt chu blocked me everywhere? haha..

i wanna scream to the whole world and tell them tht JEFFY is mine!! muahahaha!!

i wish he would do the same ne~~~~~~~ =D

LOOOOOOVE U JEFFY~ =D
(saying this after telling the sad stories..muahaha!)