tiCk tOck....TicK tOcK...

i cant rly blame him for not being here.. i mean, ive once left him for months juz bcuz of work..
but he said we'll be spending the weekends..(i mean juz online) but its a big deal to me..
i was waiting for him more than 12 hours~
i mean.. i was waiting like well..always...
i kept telling myself not to bother.. i mean he have his own life to deal with right?
my evil heart then says "then u dun hv a life since u waited?"
his own life....i thought... no..i wish, i am a part of his life~

its not his fault.. he doesnt know tht im sad.. ive never say it..ive never tell him whenever im pissed or anything.. i dun wanna hurt him..
or.. most probably.. im juz...scared... he always..yknow.. (ofc u dunno)
smtimes he gets me wrong... maybe its true like he said, smtimes he feels its too impossible for us to understand each other..
yeah it is! ive been trying so hard... i used to get mad all the time bfore we break up..when we get back together, i tried to be more.. yknow, understanding, tolerate.. but he's still got mad at my attitude.. he said i was somekinda shooing him..ahhaha... i juz, wants the best for him... but he takes it all wrong...

its rly hard for me to let go of the past.. i used to trust him soo much... but then...
he said he hates me....
he said he thinks i wasnt a living a creature...
tht made me crying for 4 days, while waiting for him to talk to me...
i mean even right now, i am still crying.. cuz... i dun rly know what he's thinking.. his feelings nymore.. it got me scared..
i told myself, maybe he rly doesnt want u anymore.. ur a pain in the ass...

"its in the past" he would say.. but sorry, i cant forget a thing tht i went through with u..

but i dun rly care! it hurts me or not.. it means a lot to me..
without pain, it would be so dull..
without it, i wont learn a thing.. i wouldnt even be better..
we had to go through pains to get our happiness ne?
plus.. those pains will be the memories tht are actly the memory tht i will most treasure..
cuz i went through it with u.. not with smone else..
which will make it impossible for me to erase u from my mind..

i can bare crying all night through out some fight.. but i cant bare losing u...for another time..
trust me ive felt how it was when i dun hv u in my life to care bout me..-.-
didnt chu blocked me everywhere? haha..

i wanna scream to the whole world and tell them tht JEFFY is mine!! muahahaha!!

i wish he would do the same ne~~~~~~~ =D

LOOOOOOVE U JEFFY~ =D
(saying this after telling the sad stories..muahaha!)

tHerE's a WitCh whiCH wITchEs wiSH...

what's up with the TITLE anyway?!

so.. why a witch?
its juz.. well i've been thinking.. am i tht creepy?
well some says that its creepy tht i could remember things tht happened since as early as 4 years old~ well i thought it was normal to actly remember ur first memory tht chu gain when ur little ne? so why so freeky?
yeah i remember most things after my very first memory came.. they still counted tht as freaky..haha..

i swear tht eventho i looked gentle and all (thts what they said) i swear i am not as nice as u all thought.. believe me or not ive never even once missed my school years.. muahaha! i read tht the high school years are the years where u all will miss the most and will cry ur ass off to leave it blah blah blah.....

NO! NOT AT ALL!!

my high school years were full of swearing and cursing and i dun wish to go back there.. i bet tht the people who makes me hate them might know the reason ne?
i could say tht my teachers in form 1 until form 3 were kinda *censored words for them* and my friends were soo called wonderous at first.. right when i leave tht place, they showed their real self.. pfft.. well only 5% (maybe) actly still had the heart to talk to me..

let's see what happened during tht time.. i lost a close friend of mine (she passed away in an accident), the teachers ignored me and kinda being a pain in the yknow what..and yeah i lost a bestie cuz of her bf being a bitch.. well, she's still the same, friends comes last aint tht right?

hmm.. then i moved.. i was being bullied.. i wish ive never even born!! (thts wht i thought at tht time) but then.. i told myself.. right, they can do whatever they want.. bully me as u please, i'll show u who's stupid and who's not.. i'll win over ur brain.. muahaha!!

look at tht~ i gain the teachers trust, i even get straight A's.. how wonderful.. well im never a good girl, i'd thank God seriously.. He helped me, ALOT!! rly big tht time.. thts why i heard God will help you when He rly wants to give u tht smting.. and yeah, He gave me a rly wondorous success.. tht gave shock to everyone~

*juz realized*
WOAH! i went out of the topic..lolololol~~

anyways.. other than tht, they said i could read peeps mind~
like wht they're about to do or say..
is tht creepy?
no its not!
i cant read anyone unless they're rly close to me..
that's bcuz i pay a good attention, and bcuz those peeps always hang out with me its easier to read them ne~
they said my life is adventurous, too many things happened in my life..
its kinda weird when they say it like tht.. im pretty sure they went through much more than me.. the only thing is they dun rly care.. like me, i think tht each things tht happened in my life is smting tht i will treasure~

being a teacher is never smting i dream of.. but now my classmates are supporting me and so is my fam and..ehem.. ofc there's a special person tht has been my momentum to be here, everything went quite fun u see~ im rly glad tht im born as me~ (tho smtimes i felt like choking myself) haha.. but yeah, i ry love it.. God has rly granted me everything..